1814 we took a little trip...

I don't have a lot of time...but I just wanted to jot down a quick note about how totally awesome Miles is. Today after I picked the kids up from Grandma's, Miles literally directed me EXACTLY how to get from Grandma's to the Dollar Store. No kidding, he knew the exact route. So we finally arrive at the grand ole' dollar store and the kids make their purchases, but not before fully playing with each and every toy within their reach. So Kepler picks out a bouncy ball...very cool I might add, a unicorn on one side and a dragon on the other...just magical. Miles picks out a set of army toys...including a helicopter, convoy truck, semi AND a tank. After doling out the toys in the car..which of course Miles was asked to share with Kepler...the kids are well on their way to fight the bloody british, Miles in a helicopter Kep in a truck, when Kepler starts mimicking Miles. Of course this gets on Miles' nerves and he starts yelling at Kep to stop saying what he is saying. I intervene and tell Miles that that is how little kids learn to talk...by repeating what they hear. So we're back on our way, toys in hand, Kepler still parroting Miles when I hear Miles say...'Missle attack!' And right on cue I hear Kep say 'Missle tack!' AND THEN...I hear Miles say lowly 'Oh no, my truck exploded!' And of course Kep...'Truck 'plode!' And then Miles starts to giggle...uncontrollably! He thinks it's the funniest thing in the world that he pulled a fast one over on his little brother! And I must admit...I giggled too. And then...so did Kep. So the three of us, we giggled all the way home. I don't want to forget this little trip with two of my favorite munchkins~

Down with the Sickness

I wish I could sneeze. I wish I could blink without my eyes burning. I wish I could take a drink without my tonsils feeling like they're going to burst in my throat in protest. Ah...the joy of pink eye(in both eyes, mind you), tonsilitus, and a sinus infection. And all of this on the eve of signing a new lease for my little shop. Part of me wants to be upset that I'm set back in the Re opening of my store, but really, I just want to get better. I feel like absolute crap. It always seems to me that I never really know how good I feel until I feel very very bad. Maybe this is how I'm going to survive moving my entire shop across town?

I'm pretty excited about our new locale...it's HUGE! A whopping 10,000 sq feet of space!! Man, I can't wait to get over this bout of whatever it is that's ailing me and get in there. You know, now that I think about it, I kept wondering...'shouldn't I be nervous about this?' I mean, managing that much space is quite an undertaking. We'll be the largest consignment store in North Georgia!! But I've not been the least bit nervous...I've been anxious and excited and confident about the move. Maybe this illness is my bodies way of exhibiting stress? But truth be told, I just feel right about this place. I had considered many other spaces, but none of them met my hours, space requirements and budget. This new spot is ideal!!! It just feels right.

The one thing I will miss though is Dr. Kent being right next door. We are switching the kids to her before we leave. She has been absolutely wonderful. Her husband and entire staff are some of the nicest people. I really wish I could expand where I am, they are just the best neighbors. She's been so nice to check out the boys and myself when we've not been feeling so hot, and she even saw this young boy who fell in my shop and busted his lip. I will miss my neighbors.

I'm feeling a little loopy right now. I can't seem to break my 102 fever. I haven't seen Miles or Kepler in 3 days or so..and oh how I miss them! I really should be sleeping but the only fever reducer I can find in my entire house is daytime tylenol...the non drowsy kind, and I can't sleep no matter how hard I try!! So I've been finding out what I would do if I had no kids, no job, no car...only the internet and netflix for entertainment...I've watched a lot of music videos, indie romance flicks and wrote this blog. While I've enjoyed it very briefly...I can't wait to get back to my real life!!!

I miss my beautiful babies...they keep me going.

Mother's Day 2010

Ah...mother's day! I think this was my best one yet~ Finally my kids have came home with the long awaited arts and crafts telling Mommy how much they love me...and it is sweet! A wonderful day this was. We started out waking in the morning, playing with the kids and getting them ready for photos. That was my gift to myself this year...family photos, I love them. And getting all the kids ready, trying to keep them clean and actually arriving on time is quite a feat and we rocked it today! We were even EARLY!! And I love seeing Ben be a dad. I just get tickled when he does something that's a little off the wall...for instance...when we got to the shoot today, I got Kepler out of the car to find that Ben had put on his 'picture shorts' and covered them with a pair of Miles' boxer shorts...he was trying to keep them clean~ So I'm thankful we were early, I had to peel off layers upon layers of clothes put on the kids to keep their good clothes from getting dirty. And the kids were so good while getting their pictures taken! No one cried!! It was awesome! Afterward we grabbed some fast food and headed down to the park for lunch. Then we headed over to Paul's for some swimming. It was Huxley's first time in the water and he LOVED it! I just love how his face lights up and his whole body jerks with excitement! He kicked and splashed and laughed...he is amazing. So then we ended the day back at home hanging out with the young ones some more. The boys and I made parfaits tonight and turkey spaghetti for dinner. We just got the kids to sleep...late I know, but I just didn't want this day to end. So, all in all, the best mother's day ever!

Dropping anchor...

A lot's been on my mind recently. Mostly about work. I run a consignment shop that's been open for an entire YEAR this month! I am overwhelmingly proud of this milestone. Along with this one year mark comes a hefty decision...to renew the lease or to set sail to clearer waters. I've never been afraid of decision making, in fact, I thrive on the challenge, but as I sat in the parking lot of my dream shop, I began to feel the weight of that decision. Not that I have any qualms about my business thriving there, I have complete confidence that it would not only succeed, but would be very prosperous, but what that would do to my family. Longer hours, 7 days a week, less flexibility, more responsibility, even more time away from my precious little boys. I've already worked away one of my child's infant years and I'm not so sure I'm ready to give up any more of my time with Huxley.

I feel restless now, I know that. I've never been able to fully shake it, always jumping into new projects and dreaming of new plans and seeing my plans through to fruition. I just wish I knew how to do that with my kids. My home. My husband. It's always been work. I'm just geared that way. But deep down, my gut tells me that while this decision may be a financial success, one that we desperately need, my heart would hurt and I would regret sacrificing my time with my children for time with my job.

Even though I'm looking at my pros/cons list that I just wrote out, and even though Ben and I are going to 'sleep on it', I know my decision. I know that I'll get over this feeling of restlessness and find something else to sink my teeth into...I just can't help feel proud that I am finally seeing my kids and am realizing that they mean so much more to me than I can actually comprehend. They are my life, and while I yearn for so much professionally, I'm wise enough to know that they are my truth, my accomplishments, my everything. Boys, momma loves you.

Three Little Pigs...

Two years?? Really? Where has the time gone... I have missed writing about my life and children these past couple of years, as much has changed. It's all been crazy busy and I've just recently came to a point where routine reins in my household.

This moment I am on the verge of tears as I read over my older blogs. My big guy Miles is approaching five! It truly doesn't seem as though it's been that long. I can still picture his sweet sweet face each time I close my eyes. I am missing him now...both as an infant and his presence this week. He's been in Florida with his Nana and other people who love him. I am told he's earned the nick name 'Wild Man'. That's about right~ He is AMAZING. Miles is so intelligent and adapts so well to things. He is a boy filled with emotion and love. He is chivalrous, which he gets from his daddy. One morning after a snow fell, I heard him tell Ben that he was waiting on me. I opened the front door and there he stood with his hand out and told me he was going to walk me to my car so I didn't fall down in the ice. I love him. I love his sweetness. I love his tears. I love his smile. I love his heart. He wants to be an 'Army guy' when he grows up. He and his friend Kingston, he says. He loves head start and we are just now deciding to put him into PreK or Kindergarten next year. Decisions, decisions. I'm confidant that no matter what, Miles will surprise us all with his ability to learn and succeed. He is quite impressive.

And my darling Kepler. The last post I wrote he was just beginning to sit up on his own. I should have wrote more. He has been quite an adventure these two years. Kepler lights me up. His smile is contagious, and I can't help my soul from loving him more. He is my little jokester, always mischievous and looking for something new to explore. He loves to look at books. It came out of nowhere too. We read them stories every night, and that tradition started when Miles was still in the womb. Kepler never seemed to enjoy story time. It was always a fight to get him to sit still while we tried to instill the love of books we have into him. One book. It took one specific book and it changed him. I'm not sure how or why, but it was a book on brothers that got him hooked. This book has actual pictures of little boys instead of the illustrated art. The moment I showed him the brothers fishing and eating worms and doing karate kicks it was like he could see for the first time. It was odd, but awesome at the same time. I think maybe he could relate to the real pictures, maybe he could comprehend what was happening and it was familiar and he was drawn to it. We read that same book for weeks. Now, when Kepler is being a little too quiet for comfort, we usually find him in our bed 'reading' a book. And thinking of it, I'm now pretty sure that's why Kep calls Miles 'Brother'. He never calls him by his name...sweet boys. Ah, that little guy is just a world of happiness.

And...we've had another addition to our little brood. Huxley Titan joined us on December 28, 2009. He is a doll. He looks a lot like the other two, but has his own little image. And the hair!! I'm in love~ He is by far the calmest baby I've ever met. He is now three months old, and the entire time has been easy going and mellow. He's just happy. Just now we are hearing him express himself. He is cooing and babbling and laughing...it's wonderful. His little laugh is like a squeal and to hear it tickles my heart. Unfortunately, I am not able to breastfeed him exclusively like I was able to Kep and Miles. The work I'm doing is different and doesn't really allow full time nursing, even though I'm able to have him with me. And the stresses are different than they were before. Things change and I am currently trying to learn to let go of the guilt and cope with the emotions. I have a strange sense of loss every time I feed him formula, and a huge rush of guilt each time I'm grateful that his meals last longer than an hour. Everything is different with him. It's more relaxing and I really have a desire to enjoy every moment with him. I call myself a 'Stay at Work Mom' since I take him to work with me. I'm not able to accomplish as much work, but I'm able to be a mommy for most of the day. This has came with seeing how fast it passes with my other two boys. With Kepler I feel like I worked away his infancy. I want to get to know my baby, not just get to know how to get him to sleep so I can work. I enjoy when he has his different periods of alertness and he's such a charmer. The ladies that come into the shop are just smitten with him and I am so blessed to have such a lovable baby in my life. I am blessed in general, with all three of my boys. What a life.

I do plan on keeping this more current than every couple of years. There is much to say, lots to remember and even more to love.

Four wheelers and Cuddle Bugs

Tonight we are making history in the Brown House...the boys are in their room for the first time. Ben and I have had one kid or the other in our room for the past three years, so we are pretty nervous about this milestone. Of course I am excited to finally be alone with my husband, although it may only last for a couple hours, it is a turning point that I believe will change my marriage, for the better I'm sure. The catalyst for our change was the room available in Miles's bedroom. We had an incident with a candle a couple days ago that almost burned our house down, but thankfully Ben was able to put out the fire without losing much more than the changing table, a few of the boys' clothes and a pack of pull-ups! We didn't really know what to do, given that the changing pad was gone and the top of the table charred, so I came up with the big move. It wasn't my first thought, as I still check on Kep during the night...but it is something that needs to happen, and there's no time like the present!

I will update in a few weeks to see how it's going!

Other than the move, we are all doing good. Kep has two teeth, is sitting up on his own and is such a mama's boy! He is a cuddle bug and LOVES me! I will never be able to fully express what this means to me. Miles was everyone's baby, he loved attention from anyone and I was nothing more than a meal on legs! He loved me, of course, but Kep wants me. It's awesome. I love the way he feels secure in my arms and the trust he has in me. It makes me feel like the best mother in the world when he looks at me with complete adoration, comfort and delight. He loves for me to hold him, while he lies his head on my shoulder and sucks his little fingers. He'll wrap his tiny arm around my neck and safely explore from his perch. It is amazing. I can walk into the room and lay my hand on him and he becomes calm, as though he knows it's okay now, mamas here. The sweetness of our relationship is unlike any other.

Miles is getting bigger and bigger! He is so smart. The things this bundle of boy comes up with is too much. He never meets a stranger and has unlimited amounts of opinions and stories to entertain his audience. Just the other day he said he was 'going to Mexico with Grandpa and Cale, because they have toys in Mexico!' He is so funny! He is obsessed with four wheelers and motorcycles, and we'll let him watch videos of them on youtube. Everytime we watch them, Miles will say, 'Look, look, Mommy! That's me! See me pop that wheelie??'! What a joy he is. He always surprises me with what he comes up with. I cannot believe he is almost three. Where has the time gone? He has changed so much, and Ben and I are so proud of him. Miles is truly the inspiration for all the good things we do and achieve. He has brought such purpose to my life, so much inspiration in such a small package! However does he manage?

More moonlight musings in the future, things are too good to not share these days.

New smiles, big boy Miles, and other short stories about the day...

Yesterday I got my first smile from my new little one. He has the sweetest face, and when he smiles it just lights up! He also has dimples...well, one that I am sure of, and a second that I glimpse from time to time. Today I got to spend all day with both of my boys. I had a good time trying to wrangle Miles, who is 90 to nothing all day! We are trying to potty train him, which is not going horribly, but also doesn't seem to be working. He gets it, but is a little late on the actual toilet ritual. Miles has always picked up things right off and has been very easy during large transitions, so I am sure he'll do it all by himself soon. He just has to be ready. He is so sweet at times. Not all the time, but most of it. Sometimes he's downright mean, but he's always quick to apologize. We've been putting him in daycare this past week, so that's been quite an experience for him. I think he enjoys it, but he really doesn't talk about it, which is very strange. He only goes 2 days a week, but I hope he enjoys playing with the other children and learning from other people. I am hoping that he opens up about his days there, I love hearing his stories. Miles is animated and never misses a chance to tell us about the airplane he saw flying high high in the sky, or about the dog he saw barking that he wanted to pet, or about the new toy he got to play with, all stories come with theatrics and sound effects...he is just the coolest little guy.

I must be off for now, it is late and night time is sending me to bed again.