A lot's been on my mind recently. Mostly about work. I run a consignment shop that's been open for an entire YEAR this month! I am overwhelmingly proud of this milestone. Along with this one year mark comes a hefty decision...to renew the lease or to set sail to clearer waters. I've never been afraid of decision making, in fact, I thrive on the challenge, but as I sat in the parking lot of my dream shop, I began to feel the weight of that decision. Not that I have any qualms about my business thriving there, I have complete confidence that it would not only succeed, but would be very prosperous, but what that would do to my family. Longer hours, 7 days a week, less flexibility, more responsibility, even more time away from my precious little boys. I've already worked away one of my child's infant years and I'm not so sure I'm ready to give up any more of my time with Huxley.
I feel restless now, I know that. I've never been able to fully shake it, always jumping into new projects and dreaming of new plans and seeing my plans through to fruition. I just wish I knew how to do that with my kids. My home. My husband. It's always been work. I'm just geared that way. But deep down, my gut tells me that while this decision may be a financial success, one that we desperately need, my heart would hurt and I would regret sacrificing my time with my children for time with my job.
Even though I'm looking at my pros/cons list that I just wrote out, and even though Ben and I are going to 'sleep on it', I know my decision. I know that I'll get over this feeling of restlessness and find something else to sink my teeth into...I just can't help feel proud that I am finally seeing my kids and am realizing that they mean so much more to me than I can actually comprehend. They are my life, and while I yearn for so much professionally, I'm wise enough to know that they are my truth, my accomplishments, my everything. Boys, momma loves you.
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